Salmon

I love sushi so much, I might just wear it!

Pap Smear

I think you might need to get that vaginal fungus checked out... it seems it has spread to OUTSIDE your dress as well.

By the way, this is a PROM DRESS. I can see your coochie, girl.

Hooray

Wow, I got my first hatemail from someone who emailed the submissions email! Let's see what they wrote:

"JUST BECAUSE YOU DON'T HAVE THE CONFIDENCE OR BODY TO WEAR IT DOESN'T MEAN ITS UGLY!!! GO TO THE GYM OR TAKE A NICE WALK AROUND THE BLOCK AND GET IN SHAPE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

Thank you for your commentary. You seem to have your capslock stuck. And just because I run this blog doesn't mean I'm fat, ugly, or have low self-esteem. It's because the clothes are fucking ugly.

OW! MY SPLEEN!

Hospital Ward chic.

Hey, this will be PERFECT for the Lilith Fair! Bring me some of that incense and throw me my Birkenstocks, let's jam!

What is this monstrosity?

Urnghhh urnggggh URRRNGH

(Translation: Hi, I'm a mime, and I like this blue mime costume.)

Technicolor Pocahontas

This is what Pocahontas wears to the club, and she obviously will wear this as a dress. Yours for $34!

Welcome to the 90's

Grandma, please. You are not 18 anymore. Your fashion sense flew out the window when you turned 80. Stop it. You're embarrassing me! And your feet smell. That plastic is not good for sweaty feet.

Santa Maria

Let's live out our Christopher Columbus fantasies.

High As a Kite

You know that guy that lived down the street from you that never wore a shirt and always smelled like pot and had bead curtains instead of doors and had a name like "Skippy"? I think he dropped this.

Scotland

Somewhere, a naked table out in the woods is crying.

Goth

Oh how nice, Forever21, you are catering to those indecisive teens with this prom dress! I love how you are helping them in their decision whether to go with a short or long dress. Why not have both?

And you're also catering to the wife of Penguin from Batman:


That is so great that you have such a wide audience, Forever21. So charitable.

Farmville

For those technological milkmaids out there who are too lazy to farm, and instead wear this while playing Farmville on Facebook.

90's Bondage

I'm sure this could have been used in an Aerosmith video if Aerosmith went the S&M route. Oh ew, just grossed myself out there.

Potato Chips

crinklecrinklecrinklecrinklecrinklecrinklecrinklecrinklecrinklecrinkle

I Just Love Awkwardness

For those of you who lived out your glory days in middle school, and who want to remember those awkward times before puberty struck and made you ugly and unpopular.